Naruto Outtakes
by Yoru no Tsuyu
Summary: Crazy one. Just to make fun of 'em. A new set of outtakes, this time the victims being the people of Naruto. Rated for language and comnotations.


**A.N.**:Ermmmmmm… 'Aya-chan, whatcha doing here, when you still have yet a chapter of another fic to post?' you might wonder. And the answer is: I don't know! O.o Oooooops! That wasn't a good answer…

Anyway… this is something crazy I wrote before I even began to phantom the idea of 'St. Valesntines a la…' so I decided to post it. I don't know if anyone will like it… but I guess I will give it a try.

Oh, for any readers of 'St Valentines…' it will be posted soon, hopefully. I just gave it to be beta-ed, so please just wait a little more!

So, on with this crazy fic! _+runs away and hides+_

**Disclaimer**:+Ehem+ I don't think I own Naruto or any of its characters. If I really did own them, the story wouldn't be as good as it is now, and would be focused on boys doing other kind of… stuff. Yeah. +blushes+

**Warning**: Yaoi insinuation in this fic. Don't like it, don't read it. You have been warned. So please, no flames. If still you do so, that flame will be re-directed toward you and turn a fire to burn you to ashes. You have been warned. Twice. +malefic laugh+

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**Naruto Outtakes**

**By**: Aya Honey

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**Scene after the written exams when Anko makes her appearance in ep. 25.**

_+She makes her arrival, kunai and everything+_

**Anko**: Listen! I'm your 2nd examinator, Mitarashi Anko+pose+

**Everyone else**: … … …

**Anko**: … _+silence+_

**Anko**: Ahem! _+kinda whispers+_ Ibiki! Isn't it your part now? _+no response+_ Ibiki? _+She kneels where he should have been, under the blankets, so the lifts it+Then gasps+_ O.O

**Anko**: _+sweat-dropping+_ _+to the "class"+_ Uhhhh……… I think I'll have to go now…. Gotta some things to do I forgot about! Bye! _+Rushes out of the window+_

**Naruto**: _+staring over the trail of dust that Anko made+_ Uhh… that was weird… -.-

**Sakura**: What WAS that?

**Sasuke**: … … _+Goes to where Anko was, kneels, lift the cloth, stares, puts it down again+_ I think you better call a medic or something… This guy is totally knocked out by that woman's kunai.

**Director**: Uh?

**Neji**: _+Byakugan activated+_ Don't bother. It's too late anyway.

**Director**: What? Now what I gonna do? They are gonna sue me! That's gonna cost me money! Damn you Anko! _+starts crying+_ I'M SO GONNA KILL HER! _+murderous eyes+_

**Random Crew**+backs off+ She's dangerous……….. -.-;;;;

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**Scene when Naruto pierces his hand with his kunai in ep. 6 swearing by that pain no running away ever again.**

_+Naruto after piercing his hand… +_

**Sakura**: What are you doing, Naruto?

**Naruto**: I won't let anyone to save me ever again! I won't run away or be afraid again! I swear it by the pain of this left hand!

**Kakashi**: _+usual dead-pan face+_ Naruto… extracting the poison is alright… but keep it that way and you're gonna die from blood bleeding.

**Naruto**: … … … _+silence+_ --;;;;;;

**Kakashi**: We really should heal you.

**Naruto**: _+still bleeding. Greatly. Strange, for such a small wound… + _Please! Someone help me! I can't die like this! _+making a fuss about it… going around with his bleeding hand…+_ Pleaseeeeeeee! Help meeeee…… _+his voice trails off, him fainting from the loss of blood. Really. There's like a pool of it surrounding him………+ _

**Sakura**: What? That's not in the script! Someone help!

**Director**: _+approaches+_ But WTH isn't he healing already? The Kyuubi is supposed to be healing him within Naruto right now— Ó.Ò YOU! _+pointing at someone+_

_+That said "someone" is no one else that the Kyuubi, resting peacefully on the ground, relaxing and sleeping+_

**Kyuubi**: _+waking up suddenly by the Director's killing aura+_ O.O;;; Uh…… _+runs away+_

**Director**: Arghhhhhh! GET HIM!

**Kakashi**: --;, Please, get Naruto some help…

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**Scene when Naruto and Sasuke kiss by accident.**

_+Both boys are glaring at each other, as usual, when suddenly, someone "accidentally" bumps on Naruto on the back, making poor Naruto ending kissing Sasuke…+_

**Naruto**: … O.O""

**Sasuke**: O.O""

_+But, suddenly,_ _Sasuke's expression goes from shock to… a smirk on his face? Uh-oh… That can be dangerous… +_

**Naruto**: O.O"""" _Oh oh…_

_+Then Sasuke jumps to Naruto, straddling him, and starts ravishing him+_

_+Naruto's voice crying for help can be heard.+_

**Sakura**: -- Eh…

**Ino**: I don't why… but I don't seem to feel bad about this… situation…

**Sakura**: Yeah… Me either. And… I really think… this is…

**Ino**: HOT.

**Sakura**: tee-hee _+starts chuckling maliciously+_

**Naruto**: Stop chuckling and HELP ME GODDAMMIT!

**Ino**: _+camera in hand+_ Sorry, Naruto, but you just'll have to endure it for our sake! Right girls?

**Girls**: YEAH!

**Naruto**: Oh, no… NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**Jiraiya**: Oohhhh! What a great sight! A great inspiration for one of my great books!

**Iruka**: X.x _+passed out by seeing his poor innocent Naruto that way…+_

**Director**: _+Eating popcorn, enjoying the scene+_ Poor Naruto… I almost pity him… ALMOST. Hee hee.

**Random crew**: _+about the director+_ She's really scary…

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**Scene when Zabuza is in bed after being beaten by Kakashi and Haku is taking care of him, and then comes Katou and his henchmen en ep. 10.**

**Katou**: _+Approaches+_ Even you were defeated. You of the Mist Country are so weak.

_+Katou and cia. approach more, Haku being stands up.+_

**Katou**: _+next to Zabuza's bed+_ Why don't you said something?

_+When Katou is about to touch Zabuza, Haku grabs his arm and twits it+_

**Haku**: _+mad+_ Don't touch Zabuza-san with your dirty hands! _+Breaks Katou's arm+_

_+Sensing that, Katou's henchmen attack Haku. Haku releases Katou, damage done, and attacks the two henchmen._ _Like mad. Wait. That isn't right… That shouldn't be happening… that isn't in the script…+_

**Haku**: _+attacking like mad, making a fuss+_ ò.ó I. SAID. DON'T. TOUCH. SABUZA-SAMA. WITH. YOUR. DIRTY. HANDS! ARRRRRRGHHHHHHH!

**Henchmen with tattoo**: _+desperate tone of voice+_ But we didn't even think about touching him!

**The other henchman**: That's trueeeeeeeeee! Believe us!

_+Haku doesn't hear anything, just keeps with his "punishment"+_

**Zabuza**: Such loyalty… _+he's crying rivers+_ T.T

**Director**: HAKU! Stop with that right now! You're gonna make them sue me again! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! HAKU! I'M SO GONNA MAKE YOU PAY! T.T

_+A cry of fear that can put shivers to everyone can be heard in the distance, even Orochimaru+_

**The 2 henchmen**: Heeeeelp uuuuuuuuuuusssssssssssssssss!

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**Scene in episode 12 when after Haku and Naruto's chat in the woods, Haku and Sasuke encounters. **

**Haku**: _+passing Sasuke+_ …

**Sasuke**: _+passing Haku+_ …

_+They take a long hard look at each other, none of them saying anything. Suddenly, Haku smirks. Sasuke snaps, launches madly at Haku and starts attacking him. Haku just avoids every attack, the smirk still in place. Naruto is oblivious to that all.+_

**Sakura**: Naruto is so stupid! But why is Sasuke-kun attacking Haku anyway?

**Kakashi**: _+dead-pan face, reading his "Icha Icha Paradise"+_ I think because Haku in one way or another hit Naruto with that smirk, teasing Sasuke and making him jealous.

**Sakura**: Oh.

**Crew**: Awwww! Director! That's a mess! _+pointing the fight+_

**Director**: But it's so cute! The seme fighting against the uke for the other uke! Awww!

_+Then, they all see that Sasuke somehow manages to catch Haku, and starts chocking him to the ground now.+_

**Director**: OO! Hey! You Sasuke! Stop! No killing! In the contract is strictly written "NO KILLING"! Arghhhh! _+faints+_

**Tsunade**+smirk+ How much wanna bet the Haku boy'll survive+smirks widens+

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**A.N**.: Ermmm……… Comments? Suggestions? Any? ··· ··· ··· Please don't kill me! _+runs away+ _


End file.
